How I Control Frustration

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For as long as I can remember, I have been a very stressed person. I stress about having everything perfect: During class, I think about the steps twice; in school, I study until I know I memorize everything; in life, I plan everything color-coded.

The majority of these times, I get frustrated because of obvious and human reasons. Nothing is perfect. Nothing, no matter how much effort I put, will be perfect.  

 

Right now, I am planning a whole new schedule. And my mom and I can laugh and laugh about this, because I lost count of how many color-coded schedules I have prepared and none, I repeat, none, have been 100% followed. "Let's start again," "this time I will follow it completely."

Why?

 

In ballet class, I normally remember corrections. But if the teacher mentions it to me one more time, for me, it means I forgot it. It means I did not make a huge effort to practice it and trying to put it on my body.  I also double-think each step, trying to make it as technically correct as possible. Even then, I judge myself with: "that was not it," "my hip was not right," "that was turned-in."

Why?

 

In school, I used to go to bed at 3 am studying for my exams.  But sometimes I was too tired to study just one more concept. I read it a couple of times and went to bed. The next day, that very same concept came up, and I did not know how to respond. I forgot. "I am going to fail."

Why?

 

For the blog, I create and re-create a content calendar with set dates. The day a certain post, opinion, or review is supposed to come out, I forget, ignore it, or I simply did not take the time to write it beforehand and schedule it. "It's ok if I skip one day," "wait, but the audience is not getting consistent content," "I failed again with this side gig."

Why?

 

These are the things that make my blood boil. Why can't I just stick to the schedule? Why can't I just publish all the days I have to publish on the blog? Why can't I just practice and practice my correction until it is on my body? Why can't just I concentrate on studying until the end and have a confident good grade?

This is the frustrated me.


Now, try to take a different turn to this mentality...

Let's go through these few tips I created for you (and of course, for myself as well.)

 

You are human

Yes, you are probably categorized as "not normal" if you are a dancer. But you are a human being, and human beings make mistakes. Every time you "make a mistake," think about all the other people in the world. Are you the only one making a mistake?

 

Don't think you are the worst person

This is something we have to work on with our self-esteem, and it goes along with acknowledging we are humans. No one is better nor worse. We are all unique and different, and instead of thinking we are the worst or comparing ourselves to others in ballet class, work, school, and out in the street, try to think that there is no one like you.

 

It's all about trial and error

If it does not work, make a change. If your body does not get the step, try consulting with your teachers on how you can approach it better. If the study guide did not show all the details, make sure to change your strategy for the next exam. If, during the day, you feel like the routine you have created is not working, try switching some hours up.

 

Don't get angry, acknowledge the mistake and treat it as a lesson

This is by far the hardest for me. I usually beat myself up for making a mistake or not getting a step in class or rehearsal. But at the end, I learn how to not make those mistakes again and automatically grow not only as an artist but as a person and an adult.

Getting angry and frustrated is never of worth. I get angry at myself pretty easily, but lately (for the last weeks or so) when this happens I take deep breaths, think about what went wrong, accept the mistake instead of regretting it, and try to think about how I can improve.

 

We only have one body, one personality, one life. It is never worth it to be frustrated for our everyday activities or routines. Like I said, if it does not work, then change it: change your perspective and start growing as the person you deserve to be.

Trying to Avoid Distractions

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The more I work on the computer writing and creating content, the more I realize that I get easily distracted. Even in ballet class: if I don't look at the teacher for a split second while he/she is marking, I lose the whole combination. 

For these couple of months, I have paid more attention to my actual attention. I am able to memorize stuff only if I am truly concentrated. When you grow as an artist, you not only understand how your body functions but also how quickly and effectively you learn.

Making the most out of our careers involves being in the moment, concentrating on improving our weaknesses. And the sad reality is that sometimes we get distracted by negativity.

This is what I am focusing on here: I know I have talked about negativity a lot, but it is a truth in the dance world. Negativity highly impacts how we perform on a daily basis, and it does not include just the studio or the stage but every other activity we do.

Class is our meditation, our daily vitamin. If we are not in the moment, we might lose the benefit of class. Same in rehearsals: working closely with a choreographer or coach is essential for the performance. 

We concentrate too much on "I am not enough," "why am I here," "she/he is so incredible, how can I be like that," "why am I no like [insert name]?" But why? The beauty of this art form is that every dancer is unique, has individual strength and weaknesses. We do not have to be the same, it's humanly impossible.

In class, these thoughts haunt me while the teacher is marking a combination. Even when I am working on creating content for the blog, sometimes I doubt if what I am writing/recording will have any value at all.

 

So how do we avoid getting distracted?

I invite you to join me on this exercise: as selfish as it sounds, try to put the horse blinders and concentrate on what matters:

  • What am I getting from this class?

  • What am I learning in this rehearsal?

  • What is the best way to approach this step?

  • What would this character do?

  • What is the best routine for my body?

  • How about the best food plan I have had and that I know works?

  • This performance will be successful because...

  • How can I improve this?

These questions will help us understand even more why we do what we do. Concentrating on what we want the most out of our careers is essential, and will guarantee that we have less stressful days, more successful outcomes, and even better relationships with our colleagues. 

Let's not get distracted by our own minds, and instead, work with them to be our best selves in the studio and on the stage.

5 Reasons Why I want a Second Career

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The old fashion way for dancers was to not go to university, as companies used to hire them pretty young and both companies and dancers dedicated themselves to be successful in their field. In the old times, being a ballet dancer was not considered a low-income career, or an underestimated one. But sadly these days, being an artist is risky.

It is indeed a dream to have a successful, long dance career. And I am working towards having it.

But what happens after you are 40?

The majority of the old-time dancers I mentioned before are either choreographers, teachers, artistic directors, principal couches or ballet masters, producers, theater directors... you name it. The young generation of dancers will not be anything without them. However, for me, these are careers I am not much interested in. Destiny will tell me if I get a job like that after I retire, but right now, these are not my intentions.

I have always had a facility to study, thankfully. I went to good schools and besides the fact that I jumped in between four ballet schools, I had a pretty good dance education as well. But I am a person who loves to learn in both fields, and I do not pretend to stop the habit. 

This brings me to the reasons why I want a Bachelors' Degree when I decide to finish my dance career, and how I would like to apply it:

 

1. I love History, and therefore I want to dedicate myself to this field when I retire

As you may have realized if you read my blog and listen to my podcast, I love to learn and explore Dance History. In case you were wondering what university career path I am seeking, I plan to either dedicate my Bachelors' in Art History, with some extra focus on journalism or communications in order to be able to be a Dance Critic, Historian, do research at theatres, author, journalist,  etc.

 

2. I don't plan to be a teacher

Being a ballet teacher is definitely a way to have extra income when you are dancing, and there are many dancers that are passionate about it and continue to be the best teachers worldwide. I have figured that I do not have the right patience or the ability.

So, instead of going through the Dance Pedagogy path, I plan to apply my knowledge of the art form to educate on a different way. And this brings me to the next point.

 

3. I want to educate audiences

Instead of having a fine patience teach technique, I would love to educate the audience. Spreading the word about art, dance, theatre, and beyond has become an arduous task. Therefore, I plan to build my footprint and challenge myself to educate those who are curious or have no knowledge of ballet at all. This, of course, does not exclude educating dancers about the ballets they are performing.

 

4. I am a learner

Ever since I can remember, I love school. I love starting a fresh school year, buy supplies, sit in a classroom or in front of my computer, and learn. There are so many things in this world we can learn from, and exploring more about my art form is definitely a goal of mine. Besides, keeping my mind occupied whenever I am not in the studio makes me have more productive days overall.

 

5. Flexible studies are available for dancers

Many people have reached me concerned, thinking that I will abandon university plans overall and become a professional dancer. This is not true. As I explained before, I am eager to learn more, and nowadays, it is a myth to think that dancers don't have time to go to university.

And being both is possible!

As a very "rare" example (I always put him as an example), es Steven McRae. He achieved his Bachelors' (Honours) in Business Management, and now he is going for his Masters. Everything with being a Principal Dancer with the Royal Ballet.

And Steven is not the only one. Technology opens many doors for us, doors that allow us to study at our own pace and achieve the same degree as a regular university student. And let's not be concerned about age and graduating "as soon as we can," because there is always time to study.

 

These are, overall, the reasons why I plan to study on the side. I have a long way to go, but while I focus on being in shape, dance with the company, and build my career as a dancer, I can always plan for my "retirement at 40" and "the Plan B"

I am excited for both my Plan A and Plan B. For those dancers that are not sure about their pursuing two paths, you have time! Just remember, universities will always be there, but dance does not last forever.

My Inspirations Before a New Work Day

Today is my first full work-day at the studio.

After four months of doing just almost physical therapy, I am writing this post with a new leotard on and drinking a morning smoothie. Getting ready for a new day of company work.

I started to read David Hallberg's "A Body of Work," and it is perfect for this time in particular, as I am coming back from rest. He stopped for two years after double foot surgery (I still don't get to this part of the book, but the introduction gives you a glimpse of his day and how he felt when he could not take a ballet class or rehearse at all).

Lauren Cuthbertson's Nowness video is also a great inspiration to kickstart this day. On stage, she suffered a major injury and that video reflects her coming back (the video is shown below, as well as a link to my shop to buy Hallberg's book).

Lastly, Steven McRae, my ultimate favorite dancer, is also on a journey to recovery. His social media reflects a positive side of starting again with patience and mental strength. This morning, his message was, "Sometimes the hardest battle is against yourself. It's a new week full of challenges and opportunities. Be kind to yourself. Set yourself goals but remember you are human!"

These are the things that remind me that we all go through injuries. However, we all have the opportunity to recover and come back stronger. David, Lauren, and Steven's examples are just a few of many.

As small as my injury was, I am still thankful for the opportunity to reset and start again.

These are my inspirations for a new work day after a long, long break. If you were in the same situation, what would yours be?


 

Injury Update 3: Starting Again

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After four long months, I am finally holding the barre again!

On Monday, I had my very LAST doctor's appointment and had my last session of physical therapy on Saturday.

But going back in time, during my last physical therapy sessions, they were applying a method called "Iontophoresis," which consists of delivering anti-inflammatory medicine directly to the affected area through electrical stimulation. After four of those sessions, I started to feel better and better and proceeded to do more advanced exercises.

No surgery was needed!

I am thankful that my therapist was also a dancer, so she was confident that I could start with small ballet steps and use them as part of my recovery.

Going back to Monday, the doctor gave me an all-clear. However, he knows that ballet is a high-impact activity, and warned me to take extreme care for not starting too fast. Of course, he also told me to keep doing my therapy exercises every day to keep strengthening the affected joint.

I have already taken a few classes and cross-trained a bit more. I definitely feel better, and for sure am very sore. But I know that I do not have to be perfect and that after such a long time without class, the process of recovering and getting back to the shape I was before, needs to be slow. 

If you are wondering how the foot is, I feel it with almost no pain and has a higher range of movement with no difficulties. I just have to be careful to now force my turnout and lift my arches at all times, as doing the contrary makes the ankle angry. (And forcing my ankles' turnout might have been one of the reasons the tendon was suffering on the first place).

I did not kill myself in during my first class at the studio. I knew I was not going to keep up with all the exercises. Luckily, I also have a barre at home so I can keep going with slow-paced movements.

If you are injured, make sure to always think positive, because you will come back stronger!

I will keep you updated with my progress.

Thank you for reading and for your support during this journey.